Have you ever had a moment in your life that, when you look back on it, you realize it really was for the better even though it felt like your entire world had imploded at the time? That’s where I’m at today. Two years ago, my second relationship ended. It was also my second incredibly toxic relationship. I mean, this boy used me basically to graduate college and then ran back home to Mobile (and Mommy Dearest) and dumped me over the phone. I never heard from him again. And that’s a good thing. I don’t need something with no ambition, no drive, no personal hygiene (I’m talking showers only when I made him kind of thing…ick!). I want someone who’s got big plans for their life, someone with goals and a dream that they’re reaching for. That’s what I’ve found with Tony. That’s why I’m so glad I’ve found who I’ve found.
(Remember when I told you this blog was about anything and everything? This is part of that category. You were warned!)
I’ve changed tremendously in two years. I never thought someone could change like I have. But I’ve survived two rounds of depression, graduated college Magna Cum Laude with a BA in English, worked a full-time summer job, started graduate school, and met someone so funny and kind and caring that he’s erased all the other relationships from my memory.
In the past year, I’ve grown even more. I’ve become a feminist, I’ve learned to take what news sites post with a grain of salt, I’ve been researching more things on my own, and I’ve discovered that my viewpoints don’t always line up with those that my family shares. And that’s okay. Not everybody needs to agree on everything all the time, but you do need to have some sort of starting point. There’s no room for name-calling. While there’s obvious exceptions to the “Love Your Family” rule, there’s also something to be said for loving your family. If they’re anything like mine, they’re crazy and sometimes (well, mostly) difficult to get along with, but they mean well. But if your family is doing something that is actually dangerous or harmful to you, by all means get outta Dodge.
But anyways. Two years ago, I thought my life had ended for the second time. I’m so glad it didn’t. I’m glad that every relationship that has ended for me has ended with the toxic and controlling person cutting me out of their lives, which made it slightly easier for me to recover. They weren’t there coming crawling back and beginning me to accept them. When the toxic person gets rid of you, you’re pretty much free.
If you’ve had experiences with a toxic relationship, or if you’re unsure whether the relationship you’re in is right for you, why don’t you shoot me a line? I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Peace, y’all. Until next time. (I’m gonna try and get my blog actually “on track” to follow the road map I set up in the beginning, now that school is over for the semester, so wish me luck!)