A Response to Buzzfeed’s “17 Reasons Showers Are S*** And Baths Are Amazing”

You can view the original post here.

All right, Buzzfeed. This time you’ve taken it too far. Now you’re attacking our showers, which are by and far the coziest way to relax at the beginning of the day. Let’s just go down the list and talk about why you’re wrong, shall we?

  1. Showers are also hot and cozy — that’s the entire point. They create an immense amount of steam which will make you warm in no time. You also get a mini massage from the shower head on your shoulders, which enables you to completely relax. Baths are just too small to stretch out comfortably in unless you’re under five feet.
  2. It’s a dog. Dogs generally do not like baths, or showers. (Besides, how are you going to rinse your dog if you don’t dump water of some sort on him?)
  3. This seems like a reason not to take a bath, to be honest: if you take a bath, the dog could invade and then you’ll have wet dog smell on top of dirty dog body all over you.
  4. This is why you wait for the shower to warm up before you get in it. You do realize you have to wait for bathwater to warm up, too, right? Just turn the hot water up higher. And you’re gonna have to dash your “cold wet body” to your room regardless of whether you take a bath or a shower, depending on if you brought a towel in or not.
  5. Again, only if you’re small enough to fit in the tub. Plus, tubs get super uncomfortable after about five minutes because it’s hard porcelain.
  6. There’s this great invention out there called a TubShroom. I bought one for myself upon moving into an apartment where I had my own bathroom (and not the hotel-like drains that are covered with mesh), and it’s been a life-saver. Plus, hair’s gonna go down the drain in a bathtub, too.
  7. People put their hair on the walls and usually collect it afterwards. (If they don’t, they’re heathens and you should smack them with a brick.) It’s better than putting it down the drain (remember your complaint about #6?).
  8. I’ve never, ever had to deal with this. I’ve had decently long hair my entire life (it’s right below my shoulders now, but it used to be halfway down my back), and I’ve never experienced this.
  9. Who doesn’t scrub their feet? And by the way, just sitting in a pool of water isn’t going to get you any cleaner than standing in a shower. Showers would actually get you cleaner by default, since there would be water constantly running over you the entire time. If you don’t scrub in the bathtub, either, then you’re not gonna get clean.
  10. Again, only if you scrub yourself. Like you should be doing in the shower.
  11. All bathtubs are a stupid height, because even though I’m 5’5″, I have a hard time fitting into them. (And my 6’4″ boyfriend? Don’t make me laugh.) The good thing about showers is that you can buy new showerheads and adjust the height. Not much you can do for a bathtub except install a whole new one.
  12. Where are you getting these statistics?
  13. And your point is?
  14. It’s also impossible to get the temperature right in the bath. You either have it too hot, so you put cold water in it, which makes the water too cold, and by the time you get the temperature right you’ve wasted like three bathtubs full of water and your dad’s furious at the water bill.
  15. You can’t read in the shower, true. Unless you have a waterproof case for a Kindle or smartphone or something along those lines. Or, get yourself a waterproof bluetooth speaker and jam out to some tunes (or even an audiobook!).
  16. They make curved shower curtain rods to get rid of this very issue.
  17. Why would I want to sit in a pool of my own filth when a shower would wash everything down the drain, make me nice and toasty, and I can get a nice back massage from the showerhead at the same time?

This was just a silly post because I’m a shower person hard core (I like baths on very rare occasions, but they’re so much hassle to get set up that I don’t usually bother, because you’ve gotta clean the tub to make sure there’s nothing icky down there). Enjoy because I was bored and wanted to do something a little fun.

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