Book Review: “Love Him or Leave Him, But Don’t Get Stuck with the Tab” by Loni Love

This is a book I got for free from a GoodReads contest a few weeks ago. I thought it was hilariously appropriate because it showed up about a month after I was dumped.

Since this is a self-help book (and it’s halfway or more written by a ghost writer), there’s no real story to judge this on. There are nine chapters in the book, each of which deals with a different relationship issue, like cheating, breaking up, or “messy messy messes.” Each of these chapters has a short, two to three pages introduction by Loni, which is then followed by five to seven questions from “real people” about their relationship issues.

I went into this book hoping to learn something that will help me love myself a little more and figure out why I can’t keep a guy. I learned way too much about Loni’s sex life, and far too much about her cousin Skillet.

Loni has an anecdote for every single situation, but honestly by the end of the book, I was bored of her stories. They got more and more unbelievable as the book went on. It seems like she wanted to get her own story out and didn’t care if she answered the reader’s question or not. I don’t care what you do with your life, but I was cringing more than laughing throughout this book. It’s appropriate for stand-up, but not for what you’re billing as an actual relationship advice book.

Speaking of the advice, the majority of her advice was also really, really bad. She tells one reader that it’s okay to cheat if you are somewhere far from home and it’s statistically improbable that you will ever run into the guy you cheated with ever again. I’m sorry, but relationships are supposed to be just between two people, and giving someone permission to cheat is not what I want from a self-help relationship book. The majority of what she recommends is generalizing men and treating them like they’re idiots. That’s a terrible way to run a relationship.

She did have some advice that was good, though. The titular “Love him or leave him, but don’t get stuck with the tab” is brilliant. My favorite bit, though, is “Put yourself first and love will follow.” Although I was hoping to find some advice on how to love yourself. Maybe looking at a comedian’s book is not the greatest way to obtain relationship advice.

At only 238 pages, this is a relatively short read, and I will admit that it was entertaining at some points. If you’re a fan of the comedian Loni Love, I’d say go ahead and read this book, giving it a 3/5 stars for fans. If you’re not a fan of Loni and you’re looking for some actual advice, I’d suggest steering clear of this book, as I’d give it a 2/5 for everyone else. It is mildly entertaining, but certainly not worth the cover price. Do yourself a favor and check out other relationship advice books.


Love Him or Leave Him, but Don’t Get Stuck With the Tab by Loni Love

Loni Love quit her job as an electrical engineer fifteen years ago to pursue her lifelong dream of a career in comedy. Since then she has become one of the highest-paid female standup comics in the United States and her brand of relatable humor has led her down yet another path: relationship advice. Already a regular on Loveline with Dr. Drew, Telepictures is currently developing Loni’s own relationship-based TV show.

In this fresh and funny advice book, Love doles out an ample serving of her unique, down-to-earth take on love, sex, and dating. Love Him or Leave Him delivers answers to women’s most pressing relationship questions with the central message that treating yourself right is always the first line of attack. You may stick with him, you may bail out, but don’t ever be left “stuck with the tab” or getting taken advantage of.

With the assistance of Jeannine Amber, award-winning Senior Writer for Essence magazine, Love offers up juicy tidbits of romantic advice in an easy-to-read Q&A format bolstered by hilarious been-there-done-that-tales. The message of her laugh-out-loud humor is consistent throughout: Put yourself first and love will follow.

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster
  • Published: July 30, 2013
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451694765


Are you a fan of Loni’s relationship advice, or did you find it as cringey as I did? Is there another relationship self-help book you think I should read? (Because honestly, at this point, I’m getting pretty desperate.) Let me know in the comments!

And as always, keep reading (just skip this one).


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